HORSECAMP

Supposed cause-effect relationships in my body

Bacterial Infection -> Stomach problems
Stomach problems -> Nausea
Nausea -> Not going out
Nausea -> Vomiting
Nausea -> No workouts

Bacterial Infection -> Triple therapy antibiotics
Antibiotics -> Diarrhea 
Antibiotics -> Nausea
Antibiotics -> No alcohol
Antibiotics -> Bacterial eradication

Nausea -> Promethazine tablets
Promethazine -> No Nausea
Promethazine -> Drowsiness
Promethazine -> Tingling ?

Drowsiness -> Very poor work performance
Drowsiness -> Increased caffeine intake

Caffeine -> Alertness
Caffeine -> NEED TO PEE MORE
..

…

So in summary, I have been pooping at work 3 times a day, every day. FWNIOFEWJIOJIOJW 

For the past 6 months, I’ve been working on a project that just finished. Technologies we used include Java EE, Javascript, JQuery, JSF, JSP, Oracle, SQL, Hibernate, JBoss, HTML, CSS, xml, DBSight, and Portlets. Coming, I only knew Java and a tiny amount of HTML. The learning curve was harsh and pressure was high, but it only made me stronger. 

I am now on a project with a mega-pro. This guy that I’m working with finished his Engineer’s degree (something between a master’s and phd) from Stanford (number 1 CS program in the world) with a 4.0. He is probably the smartest person I know. I am learning so much from him.

For the past 4 months or so I’ve been experiencing some nausea that has been progressively getting worse. I finally went to the doctor and my blood work indicated two things.
1. Vitamin D deficiency
2. High levels of antibodies for a bacterium called H. Pylori.

This bacteria resides in the stomach and can cause peptic ulcers, nausea, and an increased risk for cancer among other things. This bacteria is largely unnoticed since most infected people are asymptotic.

So now I’m on a bunch of drugs …
3 different antibiotics,
Vitamin D pills,
Anti nausea pills (widely used to treat severe morning sickness in pregnant women…)
Lots of caffeine (to counteract the drowsiness induced by the anti nausea pills)

I pay like 36 dollars per pay period (2 weeks) for my health insurance. Two doctor visits, blood work, and medication (antibiotics were $500 without insurance) would easily cost $800+. This insurance is paying for itself already!

A girl you like thinks you are secretly gay because of some things you jokingly said while drunk.

For the past few months I’ve been suffering from a mysterious condition where I am super sensitive to scents, alcohol, smoke, walking fast, hot air, toothpaste, and caffeine. At first it was an occasional gag, but it’s been getting progressively worse.

I finally went to the doctor and got a full physical today. I’m still waiting on the blood processing but they say I appear perfectly normal. For now they’ve given me some anti-nausea medication which works, but leaves me drowsy. 

The only solution is to drink more caffeine, which was one of the triggers to my nausea in the first place! A bit ironic, but it works… lol

I had always assumed that the word ‘fuck’ in this context referred to sex. In other words, I thought this phrase suggested that a person, presumably a male, should engage in prostitution (as the escort, not the customer).

After 22 years and 8 months of life experience, I finally realize the word ‘fuck’ in this context actually means ‘forsake’, suggesting that women, or ‘bitches’ will prevent you from saving/acquiring money…

English is difficult.